Through clenched teeth I whisper “Son that is a maraca, not a hammer. Please don’t hit anyone or anything with it, you can shake it and dance only. Mama will help you find another toy if you can’t use this one correctly.”
G doesn’t even look up, but he stop beating the walls with the maraca. I continue to brush my teeth until I hear a shake shake shake thwack. Not good. I walk out of my bathroom to see G staying by my dresser with a big chip taken out of the side.
“Son hand me the maraca” (while prying it out if his hand) “Mom needs a break. Please give me 2 minutes alone in my room to cool down.”
My son knows I mean it and he walks out. I return to the bathroom to try to finish brushing my teeth. 30 seconds later there is screaming coming from my closet. I fling open the door to see G wrestling with L over a doll hair brush. My inner calm, relaxed, trying to be perfect mom would probably put on a fake smiley face and weird voice and tell my kids something along the lines of “Children please don’t fight. G do you see that L had the brush first? Did you ask her is you could have a turn when she is done?” Then we would all hug and go on with our blissful day. That is NOT what happened.
I scooped G up and carted him to his room, once I plopped him on his bed I yelled “Since you would not allow Mommy to take a 2 minute break you must take a break here in your room. Do not come out until I come to get you.” Followed by me storming out and slamming the door.
A few minutes later we were in the car and the kids were chillin’ in the back with their snacks, I had sometime to think about what went down. I felt awful about the way I acted. Why couldn’t I just relax? Why could I find a way to not yell? Why couldn’t I be that Super Mom I always want to be? I wallowed in the Mommy Guilt for a few minutes and decided to look at the bright side, we learn from our mistakes, so what did I learn? Nothing I didn’t know already…
Parenting is not always sunshine and rainbows, it is hard work, it isn’t always fun and it certainly isn’t easy. Sometimes we screw up and say things we don’t mean. Sometimes we yell. Sometimes we just lose our cool. We are human too. Because I already knew all that I decided that today was just a reminder, we all have bad days and tomorrow is a new day. It’s going to happen, it just is. Today I cut myself some slack and I think more parents should do the same. I am a stay at home mom now, when I worked outside the home I had crappy days at work too, but I never quit.
After lunch my kids were giggling and giving me much needed hugs. I realized that they were over it, they weren’t giving a second thought to my blow up this morning. Once it happened and I apologized for losing my cool they forgot all about it and they love me not matter what… just like I love them.
Now that I’m done being all mushy and sentimental here are a few pics to give you a laugh:
Have a great day and give yourself a break sometimes, we are all doing the best we can!